No Deeper Hurt

 Eventually, we all endure grief.  But the death of someone you love is surely the most painful, frightening and challenging experience in life.  Whether it is the death of a parent, grandparent, sibling, best friend, child or spouse, one truly demoralizing aspect of grief is the sense of isolation that can accompany the other painful emotions.  Bereaved individuals often feel abandoned and completely alone in their world, despite the friends and family they still have.  The pain of grief can manifest mentally, physically and emotionally.  Some common reactions are:

• Changes in sleep patterns
• Unexplained physical problems (headaches, dizziness, upset stomachs, etc) 
• Appetite changes
• Mental confusion
• Difficulty concentrating
• Rapid mood shifts
• Unusual irritability or anger
• Uncontrollable weeping
• Withdrawal & isolation
• Unexplained fears or phobias
• Increased illnesses and accidents

Illnesses and accidents do tend to increase in individuals who are grieving.  The immense stress on the mind and body can result in a temporarily weakened immune system.

 The behavior of bereaved individuals can become unpredictable and frightening to themselves and others.  Many people find spending time with those who are grieving to be stressful, uncomfortable, or even unbearable.  The bereaved discover that while they grieve, they are frequently avoided, even by people who were previously close to them.  This is often felt as another loss.  Therefore, it is vitally important to find a place to share the overwhelming feelings that accompany grief.

 Don't Go Through This Alone!

Support groups can provide a wonderful source of help during a grief experience.  Bereaved people often discover unique bonds with others who are dealing with similar issues. 

If you prefer individual counseling, I have over 15 years experience in understanding and helping people navigate the confusing and painful process of deep loss.

 Death ends a life, but not a relationship. -Jack Lemmon

One of the most healing choices people can make is to join with other people to share their experiences of sadness, confusion, anger, fear, emptiness and general chaos.  It is impossible to explain the deep connection, and almost, immediate bond that grieving people feel with each other.  There is a sense that "finally, thank God, I have found others who get it!"  The most common remark that first-time visitors to the group make is about the relief they feel that they don't have to go through such a difficult time alone. 

No one should have to feel that the world is oblivious and indifferent to their emotional turmoil.  My experiences have taught me that the unique bond that bereaved people share accelerates their healing. 

Yet, walking into a group for the first time can be a challenge.  I can only tell you this; everyone you find in these groups is feeling the pain of deep loss, just as you are.  And this will be a place where you will be warmly welcomed.  It's okay for you to feel nervous: feel your fear and come anyway.  The risk you take will likely be well worth the effort!

Everything that is worthwhile in life is scary.. . If it is not fearful, it is not worthwhile. -Paul Tornier

Reach Out

If you, or someone you care about, is trying to manage the pain of grief, there is a safe, comfortable, welcoming place to learn how to cope and heal.  Please call and find out how we can help you during a frightening time.

True healing has more to do with listening and unconditional love than fixing people.   –Gerald Jampolsky & Diane V. Cirincione